5 Steps to a Loving Marriage

by Tamera Lynn Kraft

Do you ever feel unloved by your spouse? Does your spouse ever complain that you don’t make him feel loved? Many times, we try to show love, but we don’t show it in a way our spouses accept.

This happens because we don’t understand the differences in love languages. When we try to love our spouse using our love language, but our loved one has a different love language, miscommunication can happen. That’s why it is important to understand love languages.

Here are the five main love languages.

Words of Affirmation: You feel loved when your spouse affirms you with his words. If your spouse has this love language, tell him, “I appreciate how you’re always cooking healthy meals for me.” Write her notes like, “I just wanted to let you know how blessed I am to have you in my life.” Point out specific things about your spouse instead of just using vain flattery. Instead of saying, “You look nice,” say, “The color you’re wearing really makes the color in your eyes pop.” Someone with this love language will feel especially hurt and unloved if he or she is constantly criticized.

Acts of Service: You feel loved when your spouse does things for you. Some examples of this might be to get up early with your spouse to make him breakfast or doing a household chore he would normally have to do. Someone with this love language will feel unloved if you are constantly telling him or her how great he or she is, but you never do anything for your spouse. In this case, actions speak louder than words.

Receiving Gifts: You feel loved when your spouse gives you gifts. If your spouse has this love language, it doesn’t mean you have to break your budget to give him gifts, but put thought into what small gift you can give. If you give this person money for his birthday, instead of taking time to think of the perfect gift, he will feel unloved.

Quality Time: You feel loved when your spouse gives you his undivided attention. The spouse with this love language will want you to spend quality time with him or her. Take bike rides and walks together. Spend an evening alone just talking. Do something together you both enjoy. Your spouse with this love language will be hurt if you go out to dinner but spend the whole evening on the phone with your boss instead of listening to her.

Affection or Physical Touch: You feel loved your spouse touches you appropriately. This isn’t just about six. In fact, a spouse with this love language will feel hurt if the only time you touch her is during sex. Although sexual expression is important this spouse, so is holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and playing with her hair.

5 Steps to Show Love to Your Spouse in the Right Way:

Now that you know a little about love languages, your challenge for today is to do these four steps to enhance your marriage.

Step One: Take this test online at this link to find out what your love language is.

Step Two: Ask your spouse what your love language is. He might know better than any test.

Step Three: Find out your spouse love language if you don’t know what it is. If he or she willing to take the test, have them do so. If not, spend some time paying attention to when your spouse feels loved and when he doesn’t.

Step Four: Because it is more important to give than to receive, plan to do something special for your loved ones using their love language.

Step Five: Plan to show your spouse love in his or her love language at least once a week. After some time, it will become second nature.

This entry was posted in Family Sharpeners, Holiday Sharpeners, Life Sharpeners, Valentines Day by Tamera Lynn Kraft. Bookmark the permalink.

About Tamera Lynn Kraft

Tamera Lynn Kraft has always loved adventures and writes Christian historical fiction set in America because there are so many adventures in American history. She is married to the love of her life, has two grown children, and lives in Akron, Ohio. Soldier’s Heart and A Christmas Promise are two of her historical novellas that have been published. She has received 2nd place in the NOCW contest, 3rd place TARA writer’s contest, and is a finalist in the Frasier Writing Contest.

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