by Carole Brown
How big is a mustard seed?
How big is your faith?
My aunt and cousin had died, and we didn’t find out about it until several weeks later. It was such a horrific and sad situation that I felt absolutely pounded by the event. Depression set in, and the enemy of my soul delighted in taking advantage of my mental and spiritual doubts. On top of that, I was struggling with misunderstandings from dear people I loved. Needless to say, my faith wavered.
- Yes, I knew God was real.
- Yes, I knew he answered prayer
- Yes, I knew he loved me.
I knew these things, but I didn’t feel them. I cried and prayed. I read scripture and clasped hold on them. I sought council and encouragement from both my hubby and oldest son. I wept with discouragement over not being able to overcome the feelings that kept swarming over me.
But I held on. And on. And on. Gradually, as months passed, I felt the load easing. Healing and spiritual growth came from those extreme feelings of doubt and hurt. God patiently and gently loved me into a height of faith I’d never experienced before. I knew that–though I never would claim to be an amazon warrior–I could be a simple and faith-filled soldier for God–if only I would keep my hand in his and hold on tight. Whatever happened in my life, God would see me through. My mustard seed faith had sprouted!
At church recently, the song leader felt led to lead us in some old fashion songs. The words spoke to my heart:
- God will Take Care of You
- Trust and Obey
- I Need Thee Every Hour
Oh, how true. God will take care of me if I only trust and obey…because I certainly do need him every hour of every day.
Have you ever felt your faith wavering? How did you overcome those feelings?
Hang on, even if your faith is only mustard seed size!