Some Biblical Humor to Bring a Smile to Your Face–Today!

by Carole Brown

laughter

And if some of them are kind of corny, well, enjoy the few you like. Have a happy day:

 

 

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Noah free

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah  He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation

 

 
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down

Adam and Eve free

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?                                                                    A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

 

 

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing

david n Goliath free

 

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David… He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

 

 

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

PS.. Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . ‘He-brews

Keep laughing!

 

Talented Author Lisa L. Hess Writes About the Complexities of Marriage Life

by Carole Brown

It’s such a privilege to host Lisa Lawmaster Hess today. I hope you enjoy her interview and check out her books. (I’ve scattered pictures of her books throughout the interview.) I think you won’t be family-is-something-8disappointed! Read on to find out a little bit about her:

Dealing with the complexities of marriage life is something that is presented in both your novels. Is this a topic that’s dear to your heart?

Wow—I never really thought about it that way—what a great question!

Marita was the first character I created, and my desire was to write a good single mom—one who had made mistakes, but had gotten her priorities straight. Then came Jim, and I guess he brought the complexities of marriage along with him! Once parenthood enters the picture, the complexities of marriage are pretty much inevitable, even if everything was smooth sailing before then. Ooh, Carole, now you have me thinking!

frontcover

Lol. That’s a good thing, isn’t it, Lisa? Has writing made you pickier in your reading choices?

Oh, I am MUCH pickier in my reading choices! Sadly, even some of my favorite authors
disappoint now because I read as a writer and hold them to a higher standard. A good story is no longer enough for me, and I leave many more books unfinished than I used to. In fairness, though, some of the books remain unfinished because I don’t have as much time to read as I’d like and there are a LOT of good books out there.

 

Give us some fun things about yourself. Choose 3 please:

  • Favorite season: Fall, hands down. My allergies hate fall, but I love the temperatures, over-fiftythe smells, the colors. I grew up in New Jersey and have lived in Pennsylvania most of my adult life, and fall is beautiful in both of those places. My daughter is now attending college in Connecticut and I can’t wait to see fall up there.
  • Favorite music and how it affects you. My taste in music is eclectic and mood-driven. I like anything from classical music to contemporary Christian, to a capella groups to top 40, rock and oldies. I’ve seen Billy Joel (my all-time favorite artist) in concert twice at Madison Square Garden and I’d go again tomorrow if I could.
  • Favorite shows, and why? Grey’s Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder, The Big Bang Theory — anything that revolves around relationships and complex characters. I also like political satire, but will refrain from naming names as I don’t want to offend anyone.
  • Favorite quotes? “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” (Eleanor Roosevelt
    )

That’s a great one. I love quotes! If there would be one thing you could change in the world today–what would that be?

Our willingness to criticize, point fingers at and judge others without considering their perspective.

What’s next for you? Do you have another book being written now? Do you divdiv-marcoproducts_2262_170944852care to give us a hint?

  1. I’m currently working on another Marita/Angel/Charli book, something I never intended. Casting the First Stone was supposed to be a standalone book, but I had so many people asking me if I would be writing a sequel that I eventually did. Now that I’ve written two books, the characters have become very brazen and they’re telling me what they want to have happen next.
  2. In addition, I’m revising a novel that’s been sitting in my drawer for a decade. It’s mujpegch too long and needs to be cut by at least a third. The characters and story are different, yet the themes are similar enough that I don’t think readers of Casting the First Stone and Chasing a Second Chance will be disappointed.
  3. Finally, I have two short non-fiction books in the works, one of which ties directly to my Organizing By STYLE blog and STYLE Savvy posts at CatholicMom.com. But, since I’m teaching three classes this semester, finding time to make progress is a bit challenging.

Thank you so much for having me, and for asking such fun questions!

 

Casting the First Stone BLURB:
casting-the-first-stone-cover-1231-copyMarita Mercer has no intention of losing custody of her daughter to Jim and his perfect little wife. So what if Charli’s father is successful, established and respected? Does that make up for the fact that he never wanted their daughter in the first place?  But in the battle of Marita the single mother vs. Jim and his perfect little church-going wife, Marita is almost certain she will lose.
Angel Alessio’s life with her husband is missing only one thing – the very thing Marita has already given him. And although Angel loves her stepdaughter, that love does nothing to ease her longing for a baby of her own. 
Both women are determined to keep their families together…but at what cost?
 
 
Chasing a Second Chance BLURB:
chasing-a-2nd-chance
Angel
 Alessio is about to get a second chance at the family she’s always wanted. But things aren’t going according to plan, and she’s afraid that once again, following the rules won’t be enough to save her family.
Her stepdaughter, Charli, on the other hand, knows exactly what she doesn’t want. But suddenly, everything she’s known feels different, and she’s afraid her choices will not only ruin her second chance with her father, but also lead her to the one destination she’s always feared.
 
And Charli’s mother, Marita? In order to get her second chance at love, she’ll have to do something she’s fought against since she was a teenager. Will what she gains be worth what she loses? 
Will anyone get a second chance for Christmas?
ABOUT LISA:
Lisbook-jacket-photo-croppeda Lawmaster Hess is a transplanted Jersey girl who has lived in Pennsylvania for most of her adult life. She is the author of two non-fiction books (Acting Assertively and Diverse Divorce) and two novels (Casting the First Stone and Chasing a Second Chance). In addition, she has written columns for local publications and articles for national and online publications. Most recently, her work has appeared in Pediatrics for Parents, Faculty Focus, Teachers of Vision and Today’s Catholic Teacher
Lisa is also contributor to 50 Over 50: A Collection of Established and Emerging Women Writers and the newly released devotional, The Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion. Lisa blogs at The Porch Swing Chronicles and Organizing By STYLE, and is a contributor atCatholicMom.com. A retired elementary school counselor, Lisa is now an adjunct professor of psychology at York College of Pennsylvania.

Thanks for joining me today, Lisa. It’s been a pleasure, and you’re welcome back anytime. Blessings in your future career as an awesome author!

10 Tips for Researching Historical Fiction

by Tamera Lynn Kraft

HistoryReaders of Historicals are pickier than other genre readers. If they find a mistake in an historical fact, they will stop reading.

Be thorough.  Don’t do a halfway job when it comes to research. Dig deeper.

Think outside the box. Think of ways you can research your fiction in ways that aren’t traditional.

Don’t take shortcuts. If there is an area you haven’t researched, somebody will know the info you’re fudging on.

what is your story questionThe more accurate the historical details, the better the story becomes. The effect you want is for the reader to feel like she’s been transported in time. Inaccurate research will pull the reader out of your story time period.

Every decision you make will affect what you need to research and how the story will evolve: location, time period, season, social station, career. For instance, if you plan for your characters to ride a train in a certain year but the train didn’t come to town until a year later, you will have to have them get other transportation or change the timeline of your story.

Let the history and research drive the story, not the other way around.
We’ve all read historical stories where the events in history are almost another character. The story revolves around the historical events. We’ve also read stories where it could have happened any time in history. The stories that use the history as a main character are more compelling.

blank sheet in a typewriterWord Choice: Make sure you don’t sound too modern in your word choices. Merriman Webster Collegiate Dictionary 11th Edition is a great resource. It has listed the year when every word came into normal usage.

Name Choice: Use names that go with the period you’re writing about. Ancestry.com is a great way to find names that go with your time period.

What to do when you can’t find the research: There are some facts in history that we simply don’t know. If you’ve done thorough research and the information is not available, make something up. But whatever you make up, make sure it seems believable based on the research you have found.

Book Signing in Troy, Ohio

There will be over 30 authors including me at a book signing on Saturday in Troy, Ohio. Many are Ohio Christian authors. Here’s some info if you would like to attend.

ohio-book-signing

This Week in History 9/26 – 10/1

HistoryToday in History

September 26:

  • Thomas Jefferson appointed first US Secretary of State, John Jay wins nomination for first US Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Edmund J Randolph becomes first US Attorney General (1789)
  • First American soldier died in Vietnam (1945)
  • President Lincoln called for a nationwide fast (1861)
  • Russia ended decades of religious repression with a new constitution allowing religious freedom (1990)
  • Kennedy and Nixon faced off in the first televised national presidential debates (1960)
  • Birth of Jonathan Chapman, also known as Johnny Appleseed, who distributed apple seeds and religious tracts from the Alleghenies to the Ohio Valley (1774)
  • First public appearance of John Philip Sousa’s band (1892)
  • Gilligan’s Island debuts (1964)

September 27:

  • US Revolutionary War: John Adams negotiates peace terms with England (1779)
  • Henry Ford’s first Ford Model T automobile leaves the Piquette Plant in Detroit, Michigan (1908)
  • US Revolutionary War: British General William Howe occupies Philadelphia (1777)
  • US Constitution submitted to states for ratification (1787)
  • Albert Einstein

    Annalen der Physik publishes Albert Einstein’s paper “Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?”, introducing the equation E=mc². (1905)

  • WW2: Nazi Germany, Italy & Japan sign 10 year formal alliance (1940)
  • WW2: Warsaw Poland, surrenders to Germans after 19 days of resistance (1939)
  • US Revolutionary War: The Protestant Episcopal Church founded when U.S. Anglicans met to created the denomination to become independent of the Church of England (1785)
  • Walls of upper city of Jerusalem battered down by Roman army (70AD)
  • Rail travel starts with first rail line – Stockton-Darlington line (1825)
  • School integration begins in Wash DC & Baltimore Md public schools (1954)
  • US President Taft sets aside some 3 million acres of oil-rich public land, including Teapot Dome, Wyoming, for conservation purposes (1909)
  • US Civil War: Centralia Massacre in Missouri where 24 unarmed Union soldiers were captured and executed by “Bloody Bill” Anderson (1864)
  • US Civil War: Jesse James gang surprise attacks train and kills 150 (1864)
  • Google is launched (1998)

September 28:

  • US Revolutionary War: 9,000 American forces & 7,000 French forces begin siege of Yorktown (1781)
  • WW1: British soldier allegedly spares the life of an injured Adolf Hitler (1918)
  • Statute enacted by the colony of Maryland giving ministers the right to impose divorce on “unholy couples.” (1704)
  • Guerrilla’s assault unarmed US soldiers in Balangiga Philippians killing 38 (1901)
  • Woman arrested for smoking a cigarette in a car in New York City (1904)
  • King Wenceslas of Bohemia. who the Christmas song was written about. was martyred by his brother (929)
  • William the Conqueror invades England (1066)
  • US troops reoccupy Cuba (1906)
  • US Navy abolishes flogging as punishment (1850)

September 29:

  • In Jamestown, Captain Newport arrives from England with supplies for colonists (1608)
  • US War Department established a regular army (1789)
  • British spy John André , accomplish of Benedict Arnold, is sentenced to death (1780)
  • Cyanide-laced Tylenol kills six (1982)
  • My Three Sons starring Fred MacMurray, debuts on ABC-TV (1960)
  • MacGyver starring Richard Dean Anderson, debuts on ABC-TV (1985)
  • Darius I of Persia kills Magian usurper Gaumâta securing his hold as king of the Persian Empire (522 BC)
  • In Battle of Salamis, the Greek fleet under Themistocles defeats the Persian fleet under Xerxes (480 BC)

September 30:

  • Wyoming legislators write the first state constitution to grant women the vote (1889)
  • US Civil War: Black soldiers given US Congressional Medal of Honor (1864)
  • JFK routes 3,000 federal troops to Mississippi (1962)
  • English revivalist of the Great Awakening George Whitefield died on his seventh visit to America (1770)
  • James Dean dies in a car accident at age 24 (1955)
  • President Woodrow Wilson gives a speech before Congress in support of guaranteeing women the right to vote (1918)
  • WW2: 22 Nazi leaders found guilty of war crimes at Nuremberg, Ribbentrop and Goering sentenced to death (1946)
  • Time Square Theater opens (1920)
  • USS Nautilus commissioned (1954)
  • King Richard II of England abdicates (1399)
  • The complete Old and New Testament of the Revised Standard Version (RSV) of the Bible was first published by Thomas Nelson and Son (1952)

October 1:

  • WW2: Adolf Hitler expands German army & navy & creates an air force violating Treaty of Versailles (1934)
  • Free Speech Movement launched at University of California, Berkley (1964)
  • US space agency NASA begins operations incorporating earlier National Advisory Council on Aeronautics and other bodies (1958)
  • US Congress creates Weather Bureau (1890)
  • Pennsylvania Turnpike, pioneer toll thruway, opens (1940)
  • Yosemite National Park forms (1890)
  • WW2: 12 Nazi war criminals sentenced to death in Nuremberg (1946)
  • Johnny Carson hosts his first Tonight Show, Joan Crawford guests (1962)
  • US Office of Strategic Services known as OSS, precursor to the CIA, disbands (1945)
  • Alexander the Great defeat Persian ruler Darius III in Battle of Gaugamela (331 BC)
  • Karl Marx’ Das Kapital published (1867)

Excited for Autumn!

By Carole Brown

Autumn began yesterday, September 22nd–October is right around the corner, so to speak–and that excites me! It always stirs the blood in me, I suppose because of a variety of reasons. Here’s a few thoughts of why (The scripture references are words taken from the verses to help apply my thoughts):

  1. Rejoice . . . I say, rejoice! (Philippians 4:4)  It’s a time to remember the good times this year we’ve enjoyed. The family times, the fun times, the vacations, outings, pleasant evenings, special events, words of praise and words of encouragement. Put the bad things behind you (again!) and focus on what good has happened in your life this year. 
  2. Look right on! (Proverbs 4:25):  Focus on what’s ahead of you. Don’t look back on your failures, on the disappointments, on the discouragements, on the let-downs. Make plans on what you want to accomplish for the rest of the months of 2016. If the task seems daunting, then break it down into accomplish-able portions. Make a list. (I LOVE lists!) But most of all, keep your eyes on your goal. You can do it!
  3. Be Happy! (I Peter 4:4): Take time out to enjoy this season of coolness, the smells. Try a new Autumn dish, buy something new in one of the fall colors (discount store, yard sale, wherever!), plan a bonfire, dance through the falling leaves or stroll under the canopy of colorful trees. Wherever you decide to go, whatever you decide to do, do it with all your heart. Enjoy. Be happy.

 

 And finally, I want to leave you with one of my favorite Autumn poems that I’ve always loved. 

A Vagabond Song

There is something in the Autumn that is native to my blood,                                                          Touch of manner, hint of mood;                                                                                                                And my heart is like a rhyme,                                                                                                                    With the yellow and the purple and the crimson keeping time.

The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry                                                                                Of bugles going by                                                                                                                                        And my lonely spirit thrills                                                                                                                      To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills.

There is something in October sets the gypsy blood astir                                                                  We must rise and follow her                                                                                                                      When from every hill of flame                                                                                                                  She calls and calls each vagabond by name.

Welcome, Sharyn Kopf!

by Carole Brown

It’s good to welcome Sharyn to our site today! She’s a talented person besides being an author, and a sweet fell0w Ohioian ACFWer. Here’s a bit about her:Headshot 4.1.14

Sharyn Kopf didn’t discover her voice until she found a way to turn grief into hope. For her, that meant realizing it was okay to be sad about her singleness. In doing so, she was finally able to move past her grief and find hope in God.

It also meant writing about the heartaches and hopes of being an older single woman. She published her first novel, Spinstered, in 2014, and a companion nonfiction version titled Spinstered: Surviving Singleness After 40, in 2015. Her work has also appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Splickety Love magazine.

Besides writing and speaking, Sharyn is an editor and marketing professional. She loves to connect with readers and singles on Facebook or email. In her spare time, she enjoys goofing off with her nieces and nephews, making—and eating!—the best fudge (CB: I can testify to that! Lol) ever, long hikes through the woods and playing the piano.

Connect with her here:
Facebook
Website

 

Read on to find out her thoughts about writing another book and how easy it is . . . or not! 

Sharyn . . .

Someone once told me when people say they want to write a novel what they mean is they want to have written a novel. They want it to be done without going through the pain and bleeding of actually doing it.

I totally get that.

As of August 24, I’ve officially finished four books—two novels, one nonfiction work and a novella. And each time, when I’m still getting started, I wonder how “the end” will ever happen. Seriously, if feels like an impossible task.

Now, I always have ideas. Scenes roll through my head, but they’re just pictures, snapshots, really, of what will happen but without substance or context. I wonder if I can find the words—the right and perfect words—to string all those photos together, adding more scenes until it comes to life, a dream turned into reality.

But until it’s done I don’t know what’s going to work. It’s a journey, an exploration of thoughts and words. Because even though I have those images, each sentence is a surprise, creating a new, unexpected photo.

All reasons why finishing a book is, to me, a tiny miracle. One moment I wonder if it’s ever going to come together and make sense and capture everything I intended … and the next moment it’s done.

It happened again when I recently finished my second novel, Inconceived. After years of it being nothing more than a scrapbook of ideas, it came together. I’m still somewhat in awe about that. Some incidents I knew were coming; others threw me as completely off-guard as they did my characters. Health issues. Relationships ending, beginning and starting over. Trips home and broken hearts and true forgiveness—the kind that can change a person’s life.

But somehow by the grace of God it did come together. I’m stunned, again, to have this moving picture of a story complete.

And now it’s time to start again with book three!

 

Inconceived Blurb:

SequeInconceived Frontl to Spinstered (Amazon)

Realizing you’re a spinster is one thing; understanding what that means and how to handle it is another. And it would seem Jolene, Uli and Catie still have a ways to go before they truly comprehend what God is trying to show them not only in their desire to marry but in their longing to have children of their own.

As one relationship ends and another begins, Jolene Woods realizes she needs to finally deal with the guilt and regret of her past if she’s ever going to move on. And so she embarks on a journey she hopes will bring forgiveness … but may, in fact, only lead to more regret. Did the mistakes of her youth forever destroy her chance to be a mother?

Uli Odell has her own journey, though it’s more of an escape from the pain and embarrassment of a broken engagement. She ends up at her mother’s home in Iowa, separated from her friends and desperate for money. But there are some problems she just can’t run away from.

Though Catie’s heart is in a stronger place since she met God on a mountain three months ago, she still doesn’t have answers to many of her questions. Then the possibility of an unhealthy relationship and the reality of a life-altering medical diagnosis makes her wonder if she’s figured out anything at all.

As their lives head off in different directions, each of these friends will need God—and each other—to find their way to healing.

 

Readers, how hard do you think writing a book is? Have you ever thought you’d like to try to write one? 

Thanks for joining us, Sharyn. Readers, be sure to check out Sharyn’s books and her social links!